Friday, April 3, 2009

Frustrated and Thankful




I know that hardly anyone reads my blog, and thats okay, so today I am going to vent my frustrations just to get them off my chest and not overload my husband with them when he gets home, although I will probably still let him know whats on my mind. Today Jacob was supposed to go to the doctor for his 2 month checkup, I was excited to get out of the house and to see how much my little boy has grown in the last month (not looking forward to shots), but his lovely doctor who I know is drowning in patients was called out to an emergency and she had a new mommy in labor. I understand her being gone but doesn't she know that we were looking forward to this outing all week, that she is sometimes my link to the adult world, and that I may not have left my house all week except for this appointment. Okay so I am exagerating a little I usually have some grocery shopping to do or we just go to one of the Grandmas' for awhile to get out. But really I wish that if doctors are on call, they should not be scheduling appointments, thank goodness they called before we got to the office and then had to wait for her to show up.

On to another frustration, why can my children not nap when I need them to. Today Brenna is at Grandma and Grandpa Fouts's for the night and Jacob finally decided to nap at 4:15, too late for me to go down for a snooze. I will say however that Jacob is now usually only waking up once before 7 am, (sometime between 3am and 5am) so I am getting a fair amount of sleep during the night so I should probably quit complaining.

And onto one more frustration. Why do I feel completely inept as a mother sometimes. I let my 2 year old watch cartoons all morning, and when it is cold and/or windy out it could be most of the day, with a few interjections of reading and playing with toys, eating lunch, and napping. I mean an excellent mother would have the whole day planned out from art time to story time etc. Me, I just roll with the punches and hope we all survive til Morgan gets home in the evening. I will say this in all my insecurities as a mother, my children are well fed, clean, well dressed and deeply loved. And I guess as long as all of their most basic needs are met, I am doing the best I can with the extras.

Okay now that I am done venting I have so much to be thankful for. So here are my top ten things I am thankful for today.

1. My loving God, that he sent his son Jesus to die for my sins
2. My beautiful family (Morgan, Brenna, and Jacob)
3. The beautiful home I have been blessed with.
4. For God allowing me to stay home and raise my two little miracles
5. The health of my family
6. A wonderful mother
7. Wonderful in-laws (Becky and Alan)
8. The laughter that my children create everyday
9. Morgan, that he works hard, laughs hard and loves me deeply
10. That I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or where I will sleep tonight because God has provided these things for me.

I know that through everything God is in control.

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